The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Monday, November 30, 2009

See, Bella. Real friends save you from killing yourself, not ditch so that you will do just that.

Starring Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Ashely Greene, Robert Pattinson
Also starring Michael Sheen, Billy Burke, Anna Kendrick
2/4
PG-13

Although New Moon is a major improvement on Twilight, the quality of it's lead actress still leaves it as little more than a joke. Because of Twilight, most people went into this movie with the intent to laugh at it. The constant Team Edward vs. Team Jacob fight is just an annoyance. Personally, I think that the Jacob (Lautner) in the movies is much too good for the Bella (Stewart) in the movies, but yet I see his and Laurant's (Edi Gathegi) point: If Edward cares for you so much, then why did he leave you? Even before Edward (Pattinson) leaves, he and Bella aren't acting too couple-y. They don't hug, they don't rush towards each other, they don't hold hands, and their kisses are few and far between. It's not because of romantic tension, nor should it be. They are together - aren't they? Not for long. Bella get's a paper cut that produces a strange amount of blood and Jasper (Jackson Rathbone), Edward's newest family member, goes crazy and 1/10 of the way to making Bella his meal. Despite this, Edward flips out and breaks up with Bella in the middle of the woods and ditches her. And he told her not to do anything rash!
Bella does nothing for 3 months straight except stair out of the window and sit in a chair. Oh, and she apparently sends e-mails to Alice (Greene) that bounce back. Her dad (Burke) becomes so frustrated with her that he threatens to send her back to Jacksonville with her mom. Bella lies and says she's going shopping with her friend Jessica (Kendrick), although she hates shopping. She ditches her friend for riding on a motorcycle with a stranger and hallucinating about Edward.
Instead of moving on with her life and, I don't know, developing a hobby or making friends, Bella decides that she wants to see more Edward-hallucinations. She picks up a couple of motorcycles for her buddy Jacob to fix. Jacob, of course, is in love with her. Unfortunately, he's also a werewolf, and decides they can't be friends anymore. This bothers Bella who announces "You can't break up with me!", which is funny, because they weren't going out. Despite the fact that Jacob has put up with her morbidness and her using him, she still ditches him for the vamps after a she tries some high-flying adventures and Edward goes suicidal.
No one ever said Kristen Stewart was a good actress, which is a good thing, because she's really not. Bella does have a few more human moments in this one, but New Moon is not worth seeing for her. The two who really stand out here are Jacob, the one with the personality, and the eternally cheerful and delightful Aro, played by Michael Sheen. Sheen is perfect for this role, the optimistic leader of the Volturi. Does anyone else find it funny that he also played Tony Blair?

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